In this episode, it is my intention to help heighten our awareness of resentments, and how they may be doing us harm. Please feel free to leave a comment below, and or add to the conversation. Thanks for reading!

Hello Everyone, Welcome to the podcast “Close to the Bone.” I’m Carl Vreeland, your host. This is episode #50, it’s called, “Should Be We Saying Good Riddance to 2022?” 

As humans, we all seem to need ritual. Saying goodbye to the old year to bring in the new one is but one of them. Stuffing dolls with things that symbolize the bad events that happened. Setting on fire these dolls that are filled with regrets, mistakes, and unwanted memories that no longer serve us is but one tradition that takes place in New York City for example. This type of ritual was also one I used with my sponsor. It was how I made amends to the people I harmed that are longer alive, or their whereabouts were unknown, or by contacting them would injure them or others. So, to be clear, I’m all about ritual. My issue is with the “Good Riddance” part. There’s a bitterness behind it. And that’s concerning. But more of this in a bit.

According to yahoo!news (published December 24, 2022 on yahoo.com). . .

Many Canadians will be saying "good riddance" to 2022 as it draws to a close, a new poll suggests, with more people comparing it unfavourably to 2021. . . .

Giving this mentality further thought, it’s not difficult to see that, for one, it’s egocentric. We are judging the year as bad in this case. As if the year let us down or did us wrong. Indeed, we have taken it personally; “what a bad year you were.” Secondly, we are placing blame on the year, an abstract. Strange when you think about it. As if, we have run out of things to blame that are concrete; such as people and institutions. Thirdly, we are playing the victim. And in turn, have a resentment toward the year. Think about it; a culture that blames a year? And what of us? Are we playing the blame game in life? Are we playing the victim? Are going as far as blaming, again, an abstract; a year? Further, are we perhaps not taking responsibility for our own actions? Are we not accepting of life on life’s terms? Are we taking what happens in life, that we are powerless over, such as loss, illness, viruses, and death, personally? Are we holding resentments toward others, toward institutions, toward life, or maybe even God?

Now you might say, “Carl, lighten up, this “Good Riddance” ritual is all in fun.” Well, maybe so. But I believe it’s worth looking at. As I do most everything. And I’ll tell you why. . . when it comes to the mind, certain things can be tricky. The devil is in the details. There’s a lot going on, and unless we’re mindful, well, we’ll get blindsided; the devil is slick, so to speak. We may think that a grudge, for instance, is harmless, but it’s not. And one grudge can easily lead to another. And then, before we know it, for reasons we can’t seem to see, we become weighed down and we don’t know why. We turn irritable, snippy, and cranky. We start believing it’s because of our spouse or children. We begin blaming others for our troubles and become blind to what role we play in this downward spiral.

Look, it’s plain, and there’s plenty of evidence out there to prove it; resentments are toxic. I’m reminded of Nelson Mandela. After over twenty-seven years in prison, he was quoted saying about the day he was released, “As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn't leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I'd still be in prison.” Do you have any resentments? If so, and you choose to hold on to them, you are creating you’re own prison. Forgiveness is the key to freedom, to happiness, joy, and inner-peace. Nelson Mandela knew that. Now you know it.

So, what of the people that did you wrong? Well, we must forgive them. That is, if we want inner-peace. Of course, we don’t have to forget, but we must forgive. We need to release ourselves from the bitterness inside us. However we can do that. Pray for the strength. Pray for ones who harmed us. For sure, they may be sick, perhaps sociopathic. In which case, they couldn’t help themselves from doing harm to us. Or perhaps this person is sane but just made a foolish mistake, a bad choice. Maybe they are just flawed, as we all are in some way.

No doubt, whether we want to admit it or not; we all play a role in this game called life. If we want to make the best of it, if we want to be happy, joyful, and experience inner-peace, we must take responsibility for our actions. We must get up and start again, let go of the pain, move forward, and get on with it. Truth is, we should seek help if we need it; but no one is going to save us but ourselves. We must let go of the bitterness.

With all that said, if you had a bad year, such is life. When we accept that, we can move on. If we choose to go on stomping our feet about it, we’re going to suffer. Indeed, we have the choice. In regards to 2022, don’t blame the year, it’s innocent. And that’s an easy resentment to let go of; it didn’t do you wrong. And it’s a start. Step by step, we work on our resentments. It’s vital we do so. As for me, I’m saying goodbye to 2022, just like I said goodbye last year to my old neighborhood in New York City, that caused me a lot of heartache for several years. . . adios, it’s time to go, thank you for the good times and the bad times, for the ups and downs, no hard feelings, I bid you farewell, and I wish you well. 

As always Everyone, thank you for listening. And have a Happy New Year.

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