Hello Everyone, Welcome to the podcast “Close to the Bone.” I’m Carl Vreeland. This is episode #47, it’s called, “Things Will Never Be The Same”

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When something upsetting or dreadful happens in life, let’s say. . . a health scare, or the loss of a loved one, why do we say, “Oh, things will never be the same.” Well, of course not. Everything is fleeting in life, there’s no way around it. We must accept this truth, not wish for things to be the same. “I just want things like they were. . . I wish my mom and pop were here, you know, I wish the whole family were together again, like it used to be.” Nonacceptance of this truth of impermanence, of life really, only creates longing and suffering. It reminds me of what I often hear in the rooms of recovery. People who have lost their jobs, who know they can’t drink anymore, who know they can’t go to the clubs and party any longer, they will say, “I just want my old life back.” They don’t see that their old life led them to a chair in the basement of a church, in which they really should be creating a new life for themselves. A clean and sober one, an honest one, a grown up one, a sane one. Regardless of what we desire and hope for, things will never be the same, such is life, and thank God for that.

Look, we all need sameness, some stability, routines, rituals, disciplines. But the reality is, everything changes, everything is fleeting, nothing is permanent. When we accept this, we suffer less. It’s not like some of us don’t experience impermanence, no one is immune. We’re all in this together. No doubt, that was the case with the corona virus and the lockdowns.