Greetings All, Welcome to the podcast “Close to the Bone.” I’m Carl Vreeland.


This is episode #44, it’s called, “You Are Worthy.”


“You are worthy.” “You are inherently worthy.” “Own your worth.” “Tap into your worth.” “Don’t let people tell you that you’re not worthy of your dream job and dream life.” “You came here into this world with gifts, magic, purpose, meaning. . . you have so much to offer to the world.”


These are among the many New Age or Self-Help messages that permeate the airwaves, as it were. And I’m always taken by how hollow they seem to be. They seem very scripted and soulless. I mean, for one, none of us really know whether we came into this world with gifts, magic, purpose, and meaning. For sure, we are born with certain leanings or knacks. But that doesn’t imply magic, it could simply be genetic, for instance. To proclaim otherwise is a bit arrogant. To the point, how can anyone be worthy of a dream job and dream life without putting in the effort, without working toward it, without earning their worth? It sounds like an equality of outcome mentality? It sounds like a strong sense of entitlement. I mean, is worthiness really inherent? Can one be and feel unearned worthiness? Should one expect worthiness whether underserved or not? Is anyone and everyone worthy of the same job, income, and status? Well, I suppose we can argue about this until doomsday. Fortunately, this line of debate is not necessary or relevant; I have other concerns about this New Age stance. I believe there’s something else going on here, that’s much more worthy, pun intended, to point out.


I’m always suspicious of mantras that claim to convince and convert; “Believe in yourself.” “Know you are loved.” “You can do whatever you choose to do.” I mean, when you really give it further thought; how can words change us? How can telling ourselves something over and over again change us from being selfish to unselfish, from being lazy to being lively, from being depressed to being cheerful, from feeling unworthy to feeling worthy? They are just mere words.


These “you are worthy’ type mantras are not getting to the core issues, rather they’re simply scripted self-help affirmations that ultimately avoid the real problems. That is, one doesn’t feel worthy by telling themselves or convincing themselves that they are worthy. Just as one doesn’t feel loved by some guru telling them they are loved. And some of these mantras are just plain ludicrous. “I deserve love.” “I believe I deserve true love.” You do? Without condition? If one expects unconditional love from anyone other than their mother and father they will be disheartened every time. No doubt, these messages are seriously misleading and misinforming, and moreover, they circumvent the core issues that need to be addressed.


Personally, I don’t believe these self-help methods work; I haven’t seen them work, and they certainly haven’t worked for me. That said, if they serve you well, great, I’m all for it. But if they don’t, please know it’s not because of you. Which leads me to my next point. If one doesn’t feel worthy or deserving of

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