Hello All, I’m Carl Vreeland and this is the podcast “Close to the Bone.”

This is episode #39, it’s called, “The Empath.”

What is an empath? The Merriam-Webster definition is: one who experiences the emotions of others : a person who has empathy for others.

Sounds like a good quality. Let’s look further. . .  an empath has been referred to as a sensitive soul, an artist, and a creative type. They supposedly have a heightened intuition, can read people’s motives well, and are a good judge of character. They can feel the emotions of others with great intensity. They can soak up the ills and pains of others. In certain circles they are thought of as healers and gifted beings. They seem to possess a deep-connection to nature.

These descriptions, typically heard in the New Age realm, no doubt romanticize the image of the empath. They compare the empath to an enlightened being or shaman. But I’d like to show otherwise. Beginning with my personal experience, reflecting on my past perspective and experience of the world, thinking of myself as a sensitive, artist type was just an excuse for my emotional, psychological, and spiritual immaturity. More accurately, I was a depressive. And I was self-centered. It seems that the current term now used for this kind of sensitive type is empath. That said, unlike popular opinion, I believe an empath is not a desirable state of being. An empath is not some special soul sent from the gods, as some see it. No, I believe an empath is a suffering soul, a spiritually sick individual, lacking emotional boundaries, easily triggered, unable to live comfortably with the harsh realities and vicissitudes of life. They are fearful of intimacy and rejection. In fact, empaths tend to isolate largely because they are easily taken on an emotional roller-coaster ride. Granted, I am not a doctor. But like most subjects I speak about, outside of my personal experience, I embark on a great deal of research. That said, in this day and age, one should be skeptical of everything they read and hear, no matter the source, so do your due diligence.

But to go on. . . as an empath, having the ability to tune into emotions more acutely than most others is not some gift that is helpful to anyone including the empath, so it shouldn’t be looked at that way. Likewise, one shouldn’t confuse empathy for compassion. Compassion, as define by Merriam-Webster, means: a feeling of wanting to help someone who is sick, hungry, in trouble, etc. Empathy, according to the same source, means: the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another. . .  you get the gist.

In other words, and again, empathy doesn’t necessarily help anyone, unless one is compassionate as well. Problem with the empath is that they